Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books, but it's also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. Sit back and let us re-read your childhood favorites, and some new additions to the world of children's lit, and make fun of them all the while! Enjoy!

So last month I took a little trip to something in Pasadena called DesignerCon! While there, I found a little booth where a nice gentleman named Dane Ault (@monkeyminion) was selling children's cooks that he had illustrated himself! And he even had a parody of the Rachel & Sam classic: Are you my Mother?

I had to buy it. And I had to surprise/give it to Rachel.

It's a cute little book, but you can hear it for yourself! Because that's our final book for 2016!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel143.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

We've all seen the movie. No, seriously, we've ALL seen the movie. But did you know that Tim Burton also made The Nightmare Before Christmas into a children's book?

It's similar but different!

Jack is way, WAY more of a narcissist. And, frankly, he wasn't doing too well on that score in the movie.

But it's nice every once in a while to remind yourself that Tim Burton has been doing this a long time and is damn fine artist!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel142.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Monsters are TERRIFYING.

If they aren't stomping around wreaking havoc and destruction, then they are trying to EAT you!

Oh, these monsters are asleep. And this Little Monster is just telling us about them and making a little recording.

That's okay, we guess! Maybe monsters aren't so bad after all!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel141.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Or... EIGHT! Four?

Um... Hello! This little guy's name is Octicorn and he is the result of a Unicorn Daddy and and Octopus Mommy! I think there's the potential for a lewd joke there, but this is a podcast about childish kid things so I won't make it!

See, the thing about Octicorn is that he knows he's a little weird, but he just wants a friend. Weill you be his friend? I mean, I would, but... y'know. I've been busy... And stuff.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel140.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, but you know what's MORE fun that Thanksgiving? Well, with my family, really anything, but in the context of this podcast... DINOSAURS WRESTLING!!

Joined by Paul Laier (@PaulBrawl) we take a real close look at the world of wrestling when it's done by dinosaurs. And rhymes. And is awesome.

Ever wonder who'd win between an T. Rex and a Stegosaurus, but in a Greco-Roman Style Match?? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER!!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel139.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

This week is Thanksgiving in the United States! A wonderful holiday where we all go home and argue with our families!

No wait, it's the holiday where express joy over our annihilation of the native populace!

OOOO absolutely not that, no. We are... thankful? Yeah!

And this week we are VERY thankful for a Pirate Ship full of dinosaurs. Because there is no part of that sentence that I don't like! What a time to be alive!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel138.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

And now it's time to get silly.

And nothing is sillier than a duck on a tractor! Well, maybe not as silly as a duck and cow on a tractor. And even THAT isn't quite as silly as a duck and a cow and a goat on a tractor. And beyond THAT-

Okay, some silliness is occurring and I don't want to get in its way. I'm just going to say, give this episode a listen, and make sure you're ready to speak your mind.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel137.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. In the United States that means that we are VOTING tomorrow. And in this particular year, it is INCREDIBLY important that we all vote.

I mean, it's important every year, but I mean, 2016 is just sort of a, wow, QUITE an outlier.

Rachel suggested, and I agreed, that this would be a good week to read a kid's book about voting, to make sure everyone has a sense of the importance of voting tomorrow. Because it IS really important.

So vote! Because not every always could. Even now, so many people can't. So it's important.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel136.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Space.

The final... book-tier. (That's a thing right? "Book-tier?" ... NO?? Fine. Whatever.)

These are the stories of a young man, his dog, and robot co-pilot as they face off against Space's scariest nemesis.

The....... SPACE PIRATE!!

OOOoooooOOOOoooOOOOO!!!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel135.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

You guys, Rachel did it! She found this book from my childhood! It's is the tale of a magical world populated only by a WONDERFUL selection of capybaras.

Can you think of a more ideal planet? No. And neither can I.

Especially if that planet also has internet.

But no really, you know how some books just stay with you from childhood, no matter what and you still think about them from time to time? The Wump World is that book for me.

I hope you like it because I sure do!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel134.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Because crying "wolf" is SO last millenium.

Ben is a little boy who likes to tell stories. Or as we, adults, like to call them: LIES. Horrible, Horrible lies. Made up by communists.

Unless those lies are true.

And ESPECIALLY if those lies lead to the creation of a completely ridiculous reality show.

But I digress. Here's a podcast:

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel133.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

The Bear ate it.

We saw, or rather read about, the whole thing! And man, that bear sure had an amazing day!

Just picture this bear on his FIRST day in the big city! Oh boy! He's gonna get an ice cream cone, take a picture at the top of the Empire State Building, through his lovely hat into the air while spinning around and arou-

Hmmm...

I might be thinking of something different. Anyway, this book is great!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel132.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Quackers is a duck.

Oh sure, Quackers may look like a cat, and SOUND like a cat. But I tell you true! Quackers is a duck.

Mittens, on the other hand (Ha HA! Puns!), is the weirdest duck that Quackers has ever met and Quackers is excited to find out more.

And also, at the end, an argument about Vegan life-choices. (Sam is definitely right!)

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel131.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Rachel and Sam may be tired, but Bear is not. No sir. Bear will be hanging out ALL winter with his little ducky friends.

But friends, Winter is Coming.

And Bear must prepare. For the Night is dark and full of terrors. And Ducks. The night is dark and full of terror and ducks.

I think that's about right.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel130.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Be warned! The contents of this book have been known to be volatile and try to escape!

Be secondarily warned! Sam's is having to skype in this episode and it's a little fuzzy.

But most importantly, no matter WHAT you do, DO. NOT. OPEN. THIS. BOOK.

But I mean... now we kinda gotta! Right?

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel129.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

I've never had a pen pal before. It always seemed like a cool thing to have. When my friend Payim moved away when I was a kid, I suggested we be pen pals, but it never happened.

Now this kid, George, he DOES get to have a pen pal. And it's a DRAGON! How AWESOME is that?? And this guy, Blaise, gets to have a pen pal and it's a HUMAN?? WHOA!!

So basically, George gets to have the childhood I wished I had.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel128.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

How many haircuts does a person need at a time?

ONE! Ah-ah-ah!

Alright, you may now commence boo-ing. Y'know, like a ghost!

Oh man, I can't stop myself. Anyway, this is a cute little book about a little girl who's afraid of getting haircuts, and what better what to get over one fear than having it presented to you by a BLOOD-SUCKING VAMPIRE?????

I honestly can't think of a better way.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel127.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

You have to admire a bear that knows what he wants. And Bruce wants eggs, so he goes out and GETS them.

Of course, eggs always have a different maturation time and if Bruce get's the timing SLIGHTY wrong, then-

Well now we've got ourselves a Mother Goose Bruce.

Rachel thought this book was absolutely adorable and I have to agree. Poor Bruce. It's not easy being a bear. Who's hungry.

Grrrrrrrrrr

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel126.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

We are just on a 4th wall breaking kick! Frankencrayon promised to be an amazing book. Unfortunately though, it was CANCELLED.

So what's a cast of crayons to do?

Well I mean they HAVE to explain what happened. A book doesn't just get cancelled for no reason... right??

Frankencrayon is a fun little book and it's interesting to step inside the thought process of a crayon.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel125.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Times when you would be surprised to find the library open: Midnight.

Times when THIS library IS open: Midnight (until Dawn).

Patrons of previously mentioned Midnight Library: Aminals. All SORTS of aminals! We gots squirrels. A lady wolf. And a TURTLE!

I like turtles.

And you will like this book!

Plus, it's art is made from Prints. And that is just crazy!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel124.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

You guys. Did you know that there is a skeleton INSIDE YOUR BODY, like, ALL the time?? Because I sure didn't know. Neither did Samira.

It's sure weird and gross. Who'd even WANT a skeleton in your body? It would go wherever you go and see whatever you do! How weird is that?? All the weird.

So this book is fun little exploration in how we're all the same inside. It's the outside of is that's about to get murdered by mothers. Particularly THIS mother.

But I don't want to spoil anything, give this episode a listen!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel123.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

It's simple.

If you stop listening, we slowly fade away. The attentive ears of a grateful audience are all that breathed life into us in the first place, and now, you're thinking about NOT listening? .....oh no!

This book, Please Open this Book, is similar. These poor adorable animals only exist within the pages of this book. But you MONSTERS callously insist on closing the cover. Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY??

Would a banana make it better?

Good.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel122.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Poor Mr. Pip. If only people understood him more! Or if he were named after one of the less... thrown-away-y parts of a fruit!

But I guess it's not all bad. He is owned by THE famous actor. So that's nice.

Then he gets put on loan to what has to be the most well-funded science institute OF ALL TIME. Seriously, robots, rockets to the moon, and MORE robots. It's crazy!

And all just to make Mr. Pip happy! Hmmm... I guess like isn't so bad for this monkey!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel121.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

I have been requesting this book for some time. It is good book.

Or rather, I should say it is a good part of an otherwise ALSO good book! The Stinky Cheese Man is one of those play-on fairy tales that so accurately captures the spirit of the original while simultaneously parodying it, that I just think we should just have this and move on with our lives.

Rachel was convinced.

And I will just say, for the record, that Blue Cheese is delicious.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel119.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

We did not see this book coming.

Seriously, out of left field it was.

Anyway, there's this kid that comes to town. Mighty fine sheriff this youngin' turns out to be. Now, sure, you might be athinkin' that ain't no kid should be policin' the streets of such a rough a tumble town.

Well, you'd be wrong.

Addendum: WHO kisses a COW? Since when is that a THING??

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel118.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

I mean, sure, a lot of kids would want a puppy. Or a cat of some variety. They're quite popular after all. But, if your world is populated by baby monsters, then wouldn't you just want one of those adorable little fuzzballs for your very own?

I dunno, probably!

I Want a MONSTER! Is a super fun look at a kid who just wants a pet, but sometimes the pet you want is a little more than you can handle. The important thing is we all learned a valuable lesson about... wait... what was that? ... We DIDN'T learn a lesson? ... We didn't learn ANYTHING?

...

Well, at least we had fun!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel117.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Man, if there's one thing I've always hated... it's bedtime. Sure, there all fun during the day. And it's so cute when they try and get there work done or ask for help, but the end of the day... UGG.

I really don't like having to put my parents to bed.

Luckily there's a book with some helpful suggestions about how to make the process a whole lot smoother. Because let me tell ya, I'm never upset to get those "putting parents to bed life hacks" on my facebook page.

Give it a listen and maybe you'll learn a trick or two, um, too.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel116.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

MuAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

Oh, ahem, excuse me! I didn't see you sitting there. I was practicing my evil laugh. The teacher says that if I don't get it just right by next Tuesday, then I may have to stay back a grade.

I wish I were a natural super-villain. Man, if this stuff came more easily, this'd be great! Like that Dylan kid. Now THERE is a kids who's going places in villainy. I can only dream of being that good.

Now, if you'll excuse me. Erhmm. Ah ha ha ha! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel115.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

You ever wonder what your food does as soon as you close the refrigerator door? Well, worry no more because Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast is here to answer that question using delightful rhyme-scheme.

So sit back and enjoy this world full of horrible mutilations and presumed cannibalism! At least, that was out take.

But the real issue here, is one that I just thought of. If this is the world on the other side of the refrigerator door... how are any of the characters able to see? I'm pretty sure the light in the fridge turns off when I close the door, but... hmmmm...

I better go check.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel114.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Jungle Book is all sorts of popular right now. And it should be. It's great! But what if the kid raised by wolves actually lived with the rest of humanity? How endearing would it be then?

Still quite endearing, it turns out!

Steve, Raised by Wolves is about alternate universe Calvin, or rather what Calvin WISHES his life were like, but I might just be projecting. Or maybe I'm not. WHO KNOWS??

It's a book about a kid with odd parents, but at the end of the day, isn't every book about that?

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel113.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Jimmy Fallon, you scoundrel you, how are you gonna convince your kids to say "Dada" before "Mama"? Ah, I see, you chose to write  book where EVERY OTHER WORD IS DADA.

*sigh*

Look, I can understand the desperate need to defeat your wife. I really do. (Believe me) But I can't help but feel as though this is cheating.

We get to learn about aminals (spelled correctly) and... emotions I guess? But the real question, Jimmy, is this: Did it work?

No? Ah. Well... that's too bad.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel112.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

And we're back! Sam finally has his voice back so we are deLIGHTED to return to recording fun episodes of a fun show!

And we're super excited that the first of those episodes is this one. 10,000 Dresses is an amazing book that stars a young trans girl. She dreams of all the different beautiful dresses she'd like to wear someday, but her family isn't willing to accept her for who she is.

But in the end, she finds a friend who does and together they make the dresses together!

There are very few books that focus on trans issues, even LESS that are designed to help build an understanding in children, and even FEWER that are truly this good. 10,000 Dresses is an important book, but most importantly, it is a good one too. Give it a listen and let us know what you think!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel111.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

You know who has it rough? Day in and day out, they just get furiously rubbed, face-first, onto sheets of paper while slowly being worn down into a bare nubbin' before being tossed fully into the trash? Erasers.

Also crayons.

And y'know what? Today, these crayons decided to speak up for their rights! Because they deserve to have them!

And man, some of these colors are, like, SUPER needy.

Except for Green. Green is a solid bro.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel110.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Imagine the perfect pet. Wrong! Try again. STILL WRONG. One more time. Okay, fine, so you read the title. GOOD JOB, HAVE A COOKIE!

Dinosaurs are awesome and also my favorite! We read a book about the practical uses for one, but let's face it. Dinosaurs don't have to be practical. They're dinosaurs! But it's nice that they're willing to help!

And there's so many of them! Big ol' long-neck dinosaurs, the scaly flap-flap dinosaurs, weird butt-head dinosaurs, and widdle baby wumpkin dinosaurs. Science teaches us this!

So enjoy a silly book about some silly dinosaurs WHICH ARE NOT COVERED IN FEATHERS AND ARE THEREFORE SCIENTIFICALLY INACCURATE THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD IN ME IS FURIOUS!!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel109.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

We all had imaginary friends when we were growing up. I personally don't remember mine, but have been told REPEATEDLY by my parents that such a friend existed. He was named Woody. And I do not remember him at all.

And that's the real tragedy isn't it?

Imaginary friends get a bit of a raw deal. They give us so much happiness, but eventually, we move on.

Ah man, now all I can think about is Bing Bong. Poor Bing Bong...

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel108.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

 

Collaboration.

It's a real thing, isn't it? You have to work together with someone who you may not always agree with, and at the end of the day, no matter what, both your names are on the project.

Rachel and I sure don't know anything about that!

And here comes these two kids who have to tell a story, but they each want to tell it their own way. Good for them! But maybe it's a little... disjointed? Because these two stories jump all over each other in a way that is quintessentially kid-book.

Enjoy!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel107.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Maaan, I wish MY mom had super powers. The only powers she has are the ability to tell when that the cookie I'm currently eating is "enough." But it's NOT enough Mom! It's never enough!!

In this book we discover that certain mother's may OR MAY NOT possess certain... powers. It's all about the way those characters are perceived. And often having very little to do with reality. UNLESS THEY DO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH REALITY!!

If you like super powers and speculation, you'll love this book. And we all love both of those things! So you'll enjoy the book!

And now I have to go sneak another cookie while Mom isn't looking...

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel106.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Meta!

Sometimes you're just going about your life and something WILD happens that pushes you in an entirely different place or story. For those whose lives are fictional, that can be WAY more intense!

Imagine finding yourself in a world entirely different from your own.

These kids sure do take being knocked out of their book in stride. It's impressive, really!

Plus! Rachel and I talk about the Oscars because we are the MOST current people in the world. But seriously, go see The Big Short. It's amazing.

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel105.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Some of us are dog people. Some of us are cat people. Some of us are unholy-risen-from-their-long-forgotten-tomb cat people.

This book is for those kind of people!

Mummy Cat is a fun look at Egyptian hieroglyphics. It's also a truly tragic story of a cat who has waited for thousands and thousands of years to be reunited with his best friend.

It is a lovely story and we enjoyed reading it!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel104.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

There are a lot of traditions surrounding the day-to-day machinations of a farm. Cows make milk. Chickens lay eggs. Pigs are delicious, and roosters wake the sun from its permanent cycle of sleep with the clarion call of their Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!

Truly it is a magical world.

So what happens when the rooster tires of tradition? Tired of the same STANDARD way of greeting the day? The answer is a bleak, cold, and everlasting night.

So enjoy this kids' book! Hooray!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel103.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

There are few truths that exist throughout the universe. Few absolutes that can be stated to which there is no argument. This is one of them:

Everyone. Loves. BACON.

But, and there is always a but, do you know how far that passion carries this humble breakfast/anytime food? So far that it extends EVEN to the other breakfast foods. And other foods. All foods.

This is a book about that love.

About the love... of BACON!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel102.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

These are the important issues of the day. Crustaceans in leisure-wear. Sure, there are things going on in the world. Important things! But this lobster, you guys, this lobster is in a robe.

I mean, yes, we can, and do, briefly reference the Super Bowl. #AllTheFumbles

And sure, we could talk about the upcoming Oscars, but you GUYS! There is rhyme scheme and a silly lobster doing silly things! I think we made the correct choice.

And also, we've been doing this for a little while and have recently learned about the power of iTunes reviews. So if you have time, please, take a minute and leave us a little something on iTunes. It would go a long way for us, and we'd really appreciate it.

And now, on with the show!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel101.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

100. One hundred. Centennial. A Benjamin. Hmmm....

WE HIT A HUNDRED EPISODES!!!!!!!

To celebrate, we read a book that we have been asked to read since the podcast began: A Very Hungry Caterpillar. But the thing about this book is that it's pretty short. So, we read FOUR Eric Carle books! That's more books than in any previous podcast in this or any other dimension!!

We're also joined by terrific guests and fan favorites Bridget Renshaw and Zach Luna.

All in all, it was a great time. Eric Carle is amazing, his books are amazing, and you all are amazing for listening to our fancy shmancy episode 100!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel100.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

I want you to know that this episode is specifically for Jennie Crittenden. Because she loves penguins. She probably won't read this message, but I wanted to write it down before I forgot.

Episode 99! Are you ready are you excited.... for PENGUINS?!?!?!

Penguins. Well, one main penguin, but there are support penguins!

This book is fun, it's cute, AND it has familiar joke structures, which I certainly appreciated! I don't know if it teaches kids anything, but it sure would be fun to read to them!

It also gives Rachel and I a chance to talk about Angry Birds, which really don't get the publicity they deserve. When will this struggling indy game break into the public focus?? WHEN??

Anyway, read the book!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel99.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

Dinosaurs man. Always be threatening to chomp us if we be continuing to read the book they're in. I mean, it's not like that book constitutes THEIR VERY EXISTENCE!!

Either way, there's a secret here and we will get to the bottom of it!

I really enjoyed this book (and not just because I got to read it). It was cute and silly and did a few things that were new to our children's book-reading experience. Good work Jory and Bob!

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel98.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

And we're back! Happy 2016 everyone!

This week, we are celebrating the new year with a story from the CrEePy Edward Gorey omnibus. Now, I've never really heard of Edward Gorey, but Rachel loves him. And this was, indeed, a dark tale. There are certainly questions to be answered, like:

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAMN LOZENGE?

Rachel & Sam Read a Story is about the fun of reading children's books new and old, and also about how little sense these books make when you read them 20 years later. We read the books aloud and make fun of them as we go. Enjoy!

Follow Sam (@SamGasch) or follow Rachel (@Sknowite). Either way, please subscribe!

Direct download: Sam__Rachel97.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:00pm EST

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